A Year-End Message from Matt Lehrman

As we move into the final stretch of the year, I want to share an insight that emerged powerfully from our October 30 Local Leadership Chat. It was one of the most honest conversations we have ever had together, filled with candor, courage, frustration, hope, and the kind of truth-telling that only happens when people feel safe enough to speak plainly.

Right at the start, I asked participants to name the stress they carry. In a live poll, more than a third described their civic leadership stress as high or very high — meaning what they felt was sometimes or often overwhelming.

For many, seeing the numbers felt validating. For others, it was a mirror held up to a burden they had been trying to shoulder quietly.

One person put it bluntly: “There’s more demand than there is supply of staff. It’s been a long time of doing more with less, and you really feel the impact of it.” Another described watching colleagues on “the brink of not knowing how much more stress they can handle.”

Several spoke about protecting their teams from dysfunction at the top. “I did everything I could to shoulder all of it and protect my staff. They had no idea what was going on behind the scenes.” Another shared the heartbreak of leaving for their own well-being, while knowing, “I left with my integrity, but I knew my staff would be next.”

And then there was the loneliness — the part so many feel but rarely name. Someone admitted they were “on the verge of resigning,” adding, “You are only a leader if somebody is following, and I am not sure I can get through to them.” Another described the emotional toll of absorbing anger: “You try not to, but you do. And then you feel guilty for not meeting everyone’s expectations.”

These are not minor frustrations. These are the real burdens carried by people who care.

Which is why I want to offer this simple encouragement: give yourself the gift of grace this season.

In the second half of our chat, we asked what keeps each person grounded or resilient when things get tough. The answers were thoughtful and brave.

One leader spoke of hearing their spouse’s voice saying, “Why can’t you be home by five like everyone else?” — a reminder to set boundaries. Another described carving out quiet each morning, knowing that “you cannot pour from an empty cup.”

Someone shared the impact of sending handwritten thank-you notes to people they disagree with: “Thank you for bringing a different perspective.” Those notes, they said, opened conversations they never expected.

Another leader grounded themselves in humility: “I remind myself I don’t know everything, and that’s why we listen. My superpower is asking questions.”

And one person spoke a truth that resonated deeply: “It helps just to know I’m not alone.”

As the year draws to a close, that is the invitation I want to leave with you.

• Give yourself the grace to slow down.
• Give yourself the grace to acknowledge what this year has taken out of you.
• Give yourself the grace to remember that leadership does not require martyrdom.
• Give yourself the grace to repair whatever needs attention without punishing yourself for being human.
• And give yourself the grace to enter the new year with a plan to sustain yourself, not merely to endure.

This is a holiday message, yes. But it is also a message for every season and for anyone carrying the weight of local leadership with integrity, compassion, and steadiness.

In the spirit of practicing what I’m encouraging here, this will be my final message of the month. Let’s all allow ourselves a bit of breathing room as the year comes to a close. And please know this: if you need anything — a sounding board, perspective, or simply someone to talk things through — I am here for you.

Matt Lehrman

Social Prosperity Partners

Matt@SocialProsperity.us