Appointee: I didn’t sign up for a debate club

By Matt Lehrman

Social Prosperity partners

Dear Social Prosperity Partners: Several months ago I was appointed to fill a vacancy on the City Council. I’m not a newbie to the issues we’re addressing, but I’ve been frustrated to find that the normal dynamic among my fellow Council members is to jump to conclusions and argue their positions rather than, as I would prefer, collecting facts and carefully weighing options together. Am I too idealistic to expect a more thoughtful, collaborative relationship? 

— Uncomfortable at the Table

Dear Uncomfortable: Adjusting to a Council’s pre-existing dynamic can be challenging, but your desire for collaboration isn’t naive. In fact, it’s vital for effective governance.

When facilitating a retreat, I often ask Council members to describe the most effective ways to engage with one another, even in disagreement. Typical words in response include “respectfully,” “calmly” and “open-minded.” However, some people prefer more “vigorous,” “candid” or “spirited” exchanges, and this can pose a challenge to those who favor a quieter or more analytical style.

In such situations, I recommend shifting your focus from mere preparedness to more active engagement. Of course you should study the issues, but you don’t need all the answers upfront — and you don’t need to dominate the discussion in order to influence the debate. Instead, ask cogent questions about conflicting priorities, and use your position to bring new information or perspectives into the conversation.

Among the services we offer at Social Prosperity Partners is a workplace personality assessment that helps leaders understand and better exercise their natural abilities. After analyzing and comparing dozens of these tests, I can attest that not all politicians are extroverts or take-charge types. Never forget that what you bring to the table isn’t just your decision, it’s your participation. Exploring your leadership style will help you become more mindful and purposeful in the ways you engage with others.

Have a question or need advice on a leadership challenge? Ask Matt@SocialProsperity.us.

Ready to explore your own leadership style? Take the assessment and schedule an appointment HERE.